Skip to main content

Depression

"Depression" by Emilie R. B. Pratt 14 August 2017

I want to hide in darkness
Surrounded by despair.
I can't control my feelings
It's hard to find the air.

This isn't me.

I don't know where I am.

The sadness slowly took over.
One little piece at a time
It came crawling, reaching,
Touching every part of my life.

I miss myself.

I want to be set free.

My life was full of purpose.
I had direction, confidence, peace.
People wanted to be around me,
Very few things bring relief.

Anger, fear, anxiety, stress.
They all take a turn.
I don't have any control.
I must watch from a distance.

I want to come back.

I feel defeated.

Doctors are expensive,
But maybe there's a way.
I'm afraid to lose completely,
But the darkness makes me stay.

I have depression.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Family helps you heal

When I lost my baby a few months ago, I had a miscarriage in the first trimester, I was upset. I grieved for the baby I wouldn't get to hold. While talking about it with my husband, he gave me a great idea for how to process my grief. I was afraid of forgetting my baby. I hadn't felt any movement and barely knew the baby was there before I lost it. I was worried that I would forget. That our family would forget the precious soul that should have joined us. I wanted to make a memorial for my baby. Nothing fancy or showy for the world, just a reminder for our family. I love pyrography, wood burning, so my husband suggested that I make a wooden memorial such as a family tree. I loved that idea! I spent the next hour thinking about how to do it and what I would need. I made several sketches of my tree. I was on fire with the plan for remembering my baby. It was a helpful project for me. I'm proud to say that I finished my family tree this weekend. It was wonderful spending the ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Potted Plant

I feel like a potted plant in the ground. I’m in the ground, but still in my pot. This is where I’ve been placed, but I feel like I’m going to be moved again, so I can’t get out of my pot. If I do, the move will be more traumatic. I don't feel like I belong here. It's really hard for me to make friends. I don't think I can reach out to anyone because I'm so transient that all my friendships end when I leave. We live in Virginia right now. We'll be here for the foreseeable future, but I still feel like I have my hand ready to grab the suitcase and run. It's really difficult for me to make connections. I want connections. I don't want to be lonely. I want to find my tribe, my people, my place. I don't know how. I'm afraid to reach out. My self esteem is so low I constantly worry about what others will think of me if I reach out. I'm stuck in my pot while trying to stick out my roots. It's not very effective. I don't feel like I belong an...
Post a Comment
Read more